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dec 20 2005

Congratulations are in order. LOL!
I've won a website contest !!
I feel so happy about that. Finally some achnowledgement.
The last weeks the counter showed a couple of hundreds visitors and only a few tags. Like the site wasn't worth the bother of a tag.
And now people voted and I won.
So thank you for voting for me, if you have done so.
And thanks for the contest.

Got my first card from America. So finally some christmastime feelings start to pop in.

Lars and i looked at the little christmastree that had a hard time last week.
It's one for a doggy-house indeed! LOL!
The ornaments are of a very think plastic, and they're glued to the branches.
I expected them all to be broken, but only two were.
So Lars and I got a good fit of laughter, and that tree will be call3d forever: the doggytree.

We don't have dogs, so it's at the livingroom table now. It's about 40 cm.

The kids are now realising there won't be anything christmassy here unless they clear their lot.

I was amazed the boy's room wasn't a mess as usual. (Completely tidy is different though. LOL!

Today I felt a bit better. I even managed to get some things done in the house.
I took half of the meds I need after dinner, but even that was too much.
Now I realise I hardly ate anything. Only a cup of soup.
Well, had some bread late this evening.

One of my former teachers has had a heart attack.
Thami knows kids that live nearby and they say he's doing rather well.
Still Thami offered to bring him something for christmas. That's great! Coming from him.
I like this teacher very much. He has been mine, and he has been the teacher of some of the kids.
Hopefully he pulls through.

Jim came home with the christmasbox from his work.
Clearly choosen by someone without children.
A huge stonegrill, black and white paper serviettes, 2 candles, and two of the most awfull chandeliers i've even seen. They're very heavy, of plain glass.
I easily like things, but these are awfull.
If we had 4 we could give them to pregnant women who want to give birth and need their bed higher. LOL!

We already have a name for the box: the Fred Flinstone christmaspresent. LOL!

Next year they'll get something completely different, because not each department will have a committee to choose. (And none wanting to be in it. LOL!
Then the departments that are in the same wing will have a committee together.
They have more children and more people with lower income, so more "food and fun".

Well, it's a gift, so let's be happy with it.
The first one to tell me those chandeliers are nice will get them. LOL!

dec 20

dec 19 2005

Monday again.
This is the last schoolweek for Christmas, so a lot needs to be done.
All the children have a meal at school.
The girls dinner and the boys a brunch.
The school told what they need to bring, and it varies from pancakes to very expensive meat to be put on bread.
(I should have it for my diet, but I don't as it's far too expensive.)

The neighbourwoman came for help. She doesn't know how to fill the heating and she asked Jim to help. I told her he was supposed to come home late, so we agreed on wednesday.
I could help her to get the house a bit warmer. We are dealing with this house now for almost 20 years, and when the wind blows from a certain angle in the winter one has to close off the attick as much as possible.

Got some Christmascards from abroad. So cute! (TY!!)

I suspect pancreatitis, as my glucose levels are all over the place, my abdomen is swollen and some more symptoms.
So I tried to take it easy, drank no coffee and skipped some meds.
I hope it settles down like last time.

Tomorrow one of the girls has open lesson at ballet, but I'm not sure if I can come.
None to watch the boys.......
But I'm sure the teacher will grant me a look at another time. Being former collegues.

One of the main musical directors has opened a class for musical students as a start of a new academy here.
I've longed to work for him more than once. But I'm hesitant to write him.
I haven't seen an ad that he looks for new teachers, and I don't know if he likes an older teacher.
Well, I sure have enormous experience......
Well, like most times life will sort itself out, one way or another.

dec 19

dec 18 2005 I'm so very tired.
It's not nice to go through december with an autistic child.
There are far too much changes.

First Sinterklaas, which was less disturbing than last year, because for the first time in my life there were no presents. (I've never felt so sad, and I still have't lost the feeling of emptiness.
It's the same as having no christmaspresents for those in countries who have presents at christmas.

Well, the only good was that it was far less disturbing for Nyo.
He bought the gifts with Jim, and I made a very nice thing. So he only had to take it to school.

I try to keep it as structured at home as can be, but it doesn't work.
Last sunday someone barged in, because she needed advice.
She stayed all afternoon. I don't mind at a normal day when he is at school, but on a sunday it disturbs his normal pattern, leading to problems when she left. He was yelling and all over the place.

I waited with decorating, because I felt ill and I needed a hand. It's hard enough to keep everything going for a family of 8.

Ofcourse none took an effort.
So I said I wouldn't decorate if there wouldn't be help.
The girls started tidying their room........ and that was it.

Jim brought a little table-tree.
I've never seen such an ugly tree. Even a little one can be nice.
But with no money... it must have been cheap. LOL!

Friday things didn't go well with Nyo.
It started earlier this week. I guess all the christmaspreparations at school caused a lot of fuzz.
Each day it became worse, and friday, after some toodoo with Lars, he got into an argument with Stef and he started screaming and yelling again.
He managed to get him downstairs, but there he went on and on.
I was already exhausted, and didn't dare to go away, because I was afraid he might start to throw something nice.

I just couldn't cope anymore.
Just tell me how to shut up a child that is too far from the world to be able to open up for some common sense.
If I'd had a shot of valium I would have used it for him.

I didn't know anything else to do than to make a statement.
With that rotten little tree.

Well, let's say I'm sure it was meant to decorate the doghouse of a very ugly dog... LOL!
Those ornaments/balls, were half a centimeter thick.
Such a pity there are only three broken. LOL!

But I've just had it.
With kids like these christmas isn't nice at all.

Last year I planned to go to England with christmas this year, but all the money is gone. Wich doedn't make a real difference, as I can't even sleep in on a sunday.

I'm sorry if I've shocked someone.
That was not my intention.
But I need to leave it somewhere......

I used to love christmas. Decorated everything, went to the family and had friends over for diner at the second christmasday.
The week after a lot of people would come to see the tree and the christmasscene. Almost every year I made new figures.

A few years ago I had angels hanging all over the place. LOL!
But these days...
Let's say that the only fun is online.

dec 18

dec 16 2005

I can't believe internet is as slow as it is.
No uploading possible.
I worked late yesterday to get some more pages done for the christmassection, as I entered a contest and wanted to make a good impression.
Well... by this time the judging is done, I guess, so that's it.

For the first time in my life I voted for myself.
It was alowwed, and some others certainly will do too. (Although I'm not a follower. LOL!).
My site is different from others, and I've put a lot of effort in it.
Considering the fact that we here in The Netherlands don't even think about Christmas before the traditional Sinterklaasfestivities are over at december 6th, I've come quite far with the christmasspirit.

Now I'm struggling to get this online......
As soon as the connection is better, I'll upload the pages.

Well, I'm not that competitive anyway.
Got second in a word scramble a couple of weeks ago, and english not being my first language I considered it to be absolutely great!
That was once, because I can't spend as much time online anyway. And my life is stressfull enough.
Apart from that: it makes me happy to see others happy.
So I'll see what life brings.

dec 16

dec 15 2005

Yinti came home with a good report.
She was so very happy!!

Lars was late. Turned out an old man suddenly stepped on the road and he had to divert with his bycicle.
On one side the bus was near and the other side the pavement.
He crashed his brakes and fell, maybe too because he hit the side of the pavement.
He fell on his head and his knee.
He was dizzy when he came home and had a headache, so I kept close watch.
And his leg looked like a plate with ketchup.

He considered himself lucky that he didn't get under the buss. Yea... but no one walking there helped. And the old man didn't even get a good look. Just walked on.
So he was home late, and got stressed because he had to write a paper and couldn't concentrate.
So got stressed and started nagging.

Looking from the bright side: nagging means life, so he was rather OK>
But it also meant Thami got loud and noisy and Nyo got irritated and started yelling.

I'm so tired of being the therapist of my own children.
I'm drained. Part of the day I'm so tired I just can't keep my eyes open.
Well, it's to be expected with the way my life is organised... It's just a 24/7/4/12/all life job.

I thought life had something more to offer, but it's all work and hardly any fun.
The only way to get some is working on my site and being with online friends.
Just a bit of fun.
But it's time I met someone who gives me a real hug.
I crave for a day away with someone, for a real christmas and someone who makes a cocao for me.
Well, I guess they already have a chair for me ready at the coffeebar in heaven. With giraffeprint cushions and some nice dreams to come true........

dec 15