Welcome to my journal.

It's about my life, my feelings
and my family with 6 children.
The twinsgirls of 10: Yinti and Djenné.
Nyo (14, autistic), Thami (15, dyslectic and ADHD), Lars (17), Stef (20 ADD and Asperger), and their father (PDD-Nos, autistic traits).

This blog is not written to offend, but it's a way to vent.
I'm allowed to. I'm managing a nuthouse. LOL!

tuesday december 19 2006

The mist has gone. Large drops are hanging from the bare branches.
The leaves on the ground are turning brown.
It's always a choice to leave them so bugs can survive, and the disappearing leaves can nurture the ground, or clean the garden like it's a kitchen, leaving no space for the hedgehog.

Well, with saying that the decision is made.
The gardenpath is clean, the storms of last week took care of that.

I'm still as tense as a bow.

Djenné is swimming with the school today.
She hasn't got a diploma, and to be honest, I don't trust the teachers to watch out for her the way I would.

But not all the stress is due to that.
I feel the same as the week before the big tsunami, and the swimming and the dentist just add to it.

It's almost unbearable... so I started to clean the house again..
Which is stupid, as all the kids will be at home tomorrow afternoon and Jim will walk in and out with his shoes on.
Still I feel the need to be bussy.
So I'm doing all sorts of things at the same time. Including making a page for the adventgraphics.

+++

Got a mail that Nyo had an anger attack at school.
Luckily his casemanager was available. So she managed the problem and got him on trail swift.
Turned out that on top of a test of english and one of math, the economics teacher wanted to have a test too.
When Nyo said he wasn't prepared, he wasn't lying. We worked for three hours last evening on math and then he was worn out completely.
Then the teacher said it was announced, and it wasn't. Period.
I've checked his agenda... and there was nothing.
Anyway, Nyo would have been on top of his nerves last night not to be able to finish his economics, and he didn't care much... so there was no knowledge of a test.

So I mailed school back that I would have reported that third test, because they have promised no more than two tests a day.

All in all I had to hurry to the dentist...

he didn't want to extract but rebuilt the molar. Lucky girl I am.
When I said I would see them next month, for the half-year check, he said that I was having enough appointments to keep and he would do it now.
Then ordered the assistant to whiten my teeth.
Well, they're rather white, but now they're blingbling. LOL!

Talked a bit with the assistant who has an autistic child while she was cleaning the instruments.

When going home I saw a heron. It was staring at me.
In a way I wasn't surprised.
I was so glad to be away from home, even for such a short time as visiting the dentist, 5 minutes from home. I felt free, and grateful my molar was repaired and someone cared for me for a couple of minutes.
And outside I enjoyed the trees, and the red shrubs at the side if the water.
They're nurturing minutes, and just when I remembered I planned last year to celebrate christmas in england (which is not going to happen... ggrrrmpppf), I saw the heron.

At home I heard Jim was called by the police about the attack on Lars.
The police is going to arrest the guys who did it, but they want to put them away the best they can.
So they want Thami to witness what he has seen. And Thami knows some adresses of these boys and from some boys that are threatened too.
So that means I can't go to the demonstration lesson of the girls, but have to go with Thami to the police.
Grmmpppfffff..

When Lars heard it he felt so stressed he got one of his moods.... but I was too tired to really care....yep... after 90 minutes in the kitchen, cooking.

Then Jim came home half an hour early... everyone hyper again...

He brought a christmasbox... Woohooo!

And for the first time in years we were really glad with it.
There's something in it for everyone. Sweets, sauce, chocolate, a game, cookies, coacoa, serviettes.
All in black and white, with a wonderful ribbon.

The only thing we couldn't use was the whine..
Well, that's a nice gift.

And eh...I gifted the hamlet chocolates to me...LOL!

So that was today.... one day... ***sigh***

monday december 18 2006

Called the dentist. I'm expected tomorrow afternoon.
So that's arranged.

When I looked outside it turned out to be rather misty.
It stayed that way all day, even got worse during the afternoon.

The kids came from school telling abotu the misty world and the slippery roads this morning.
So it's really winter now.

I'm always amazed how we slip from autumn into winter, often without realising.

I have been tense all day... like something is going to happen that is too big to be understood.
Had it for a whole week before the tsunami that hit the second day of christmas, you know.
I can do without the stress, especially as I don't know where it comes from.

When it was already dark and very cold to our feelings, I went outside... don't know why.
Just an impulse that was followed on autopilot.

And there they were...sounding from not too high in the sky, flying through the dark evening: the geese.

Like all the years before they called me to come outside, even without me hearing them....
It's so moving to feel so close to nature..
Now the cold days are coming...